我心中的哈尔滨
诗篇31:15上 “我的一生都在你的手中……”（圣经新译本）
- 注：
教会一位弟兄回国时路过哈尔滨分享了一些索菲亚大教堂的照片， 这促使我有感而发，写一点儿关于哈尔滨的故事作为留念， 与大家分享。
哈尔滨素有东方明珠的美誉，被称为“东方小巴黎”。
97年第一次离开鹤岗的家门，
那年考试的地点设在南岗基督教堂，
98年我再次来到哈尔滨参考南京神学院入学考试，
那之后，在南京读书的7年里，我至少有8-
难道这座城市里就没有我值得留恋的地方吗？当然有。
2013年10月份我第一次回国探再次路过这座城市，
The Harbin City in My Heart
Psalm 31: 15 “ My times are in your hands.” (NIV)
- Note: A church brother travelled by Harbin on his way back to China and shared some photos of the Saint Sophia Cathedral in Harbin. This inspired me to write a few stories about Harbin as a souvenir and share them with everyone.
I left my home in Hegang for the first time in 1997 to take the entrance exam for Nanjing Union Theological Seminary (hereinafter referred to as NUTS ), which brought me to the Capital City Harbin of my province Heilongjiang. I took the train from Hegang to Harbin at around 9 pm and arrived at the station at around 5 am. When the train slowly pulled into the platform of Harbin Station, the announcer spoke in the purest Mandarin: “Dear passengers, Harbin Railway Station is coming soon. Please pack your luggage and prepare to get off. Harbin is a world-famous city. Every year, the Harbin Ice and Snow World, St. Sophia Cathedral… fried popsicles, Harbin red sausage, etc. are all fascinating… I wish you a pleasant journey! Welcome to take this train next time.”
The exam location that year was set up at the Nangang Christian Church. The result of the exam was that I received a “notification of non-admission” one month later. The most memorable thing about that time was that there were 7-8 candidates who took the exam together. At that time, there were three churches on Nangang Street. One was a Protestant church – the Christianity we believed in, where the largest number of people gathered. There were several worship services every Sunday, and everyone had to line up to find a seat. Next to it was an Orthodox church – there were very few people, and most of the believers were Chinese and Russian mixed race. We were very interested in learning about it at the time and wanted to go to that church to find someone to communicate with and learn related knowledge. At that time, I met a pastor’s wife. Her attitude was very unfriendly, and she said: “If you want to find a church, you can go to the Catholic Church across the street. There are priests and nuns there.” It seems that although they have luxurious buildings on the outside, they have no heart to spread the gospel. No wonder they ended up being reduced to tourist attractions. Then, that afternoon, several of us went to the Catholic Church across the street, met priests and nuns for the first time, and attended their mass. Everything was new and we were moved by the fact that priests never married and nuns devoted themselves to the Lord and served Him wholeheartedly. After the exam, several students went to the Harbin Night Market and talked about everyone’s expectations and hopes for the future under the streetlights.
In 1998, I came to Harbin again to take the entrance exam for NUTS. This time, we did not take the exam in the city center, but in Wanbao Town, which was far away from the city center, because at that time there was a provincial-level Bible school in Wanbao Town. It seemed that it took about 3 hours to get there after two reverses. During that exam, I was under great pressure and prayed to God, “Lord, if I fail to pass the exam in Nanjing this year, I will never take the exam for this Seminary again (it is regarded as the highest official Christian institution in China). I may just go to a local Bible school or Northeast Theological Seminary (located in Shenyang)…” The night before the exam, at the school’s evening prayer meeting, there was a female classmate who was also a candidate. She prayed, “It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” As a result, the exam went surprisingly smoothly. The content I reviewed before the exam appeared in the exam. It was amazing! After the exam, a sister who worked in the kitchen saw me and said to me, “Brother, you can pass the exam. I see that you have been praying all the time.” After the exam, I took the train back to Hegang at 10:00 pm. I could not hold my tears all the way and thanked God in my heart. I knew there was a very clear voice inside saying, “You are leaving Heilongjiang. This year I will take you to Nanjing.” At the end of August that year, I came to Harbin again and met up with another classmate. We took the train southward and headed to NUTS to study.
After that, during the 7 years I studied in Nanjing, I changed trains in Harbin at least 8-9 times. Every time, we passed by each other and left in a hurry. When I packed my bags and left my hometown in Hegang in 1998, there was a voice in my heart saying, “One day, I will take you to a very, very far away place that you have never been to and don’t know where it is.” Because of the call of that more distant voice, I never included Harbin in my life plan. However, things did not go as I wished. In 2005, the year I graduated from NUTS with a master’s degree, the place I least wanted to go was Harbin. However, we must be careful, perhaps the thing you least want to do is often the thing God wants you to do the most. Although I had many struggles in choosing the future field of service before graduation, I also tried to go to the south to see if I should serve there. However, when I was sitting in a church in the south of China to worship, I couldn’t stop my tears. The Holy Spirit rebuked me in my heart, saying, “Are you not going back to Harbin because of material supply? Go back, the students there are waiting for you.” With helplessness, reluctance, and a longing for the big city, I came to Harbin again in July 2005. After nearly 3 hours, I arrived at Heilongjiang Bible School to prepare to be a theology teacher. The three years at Wanbao Town were three years of learning humility, three years of traning character, and three years like Moses in the wilderness of Midian and David escaping from King Saul’s pursuit. The three years I disliked the most were the best three years of my life. The place I least wanted to go was a place full of spiritual gold. When I walked under the street lights at Wanbao Town, I thought: “Darkness gave me black eyes, but I use them to look for light.” When I left, I said: “I left quietly, just as I came quietly. I won’t take away a cloud…”
Are there anything in this city that I should miss? Of course there are. I have experienced countless graces from the Lord at Wanbao Town of this city. The care and love of many elders and brothers and sisters, the growth and development of students, and the encouragement and prayers of classmates are all treasures in my heart. In Harbin, I met a brother in the Lord and his mother who had welcomed me in his home for a semester without any compensation. However, because I was preparing for the TOEFL test, I was only thinking about memorizing English words and never paid attention to the charm of Harbin under the neon lights. There, I met a missionary couple who eventually became my recommenders for applying to American university. There, we participated in an English fellowship at a Nangang church. A scene that happened in Harbin Swan Hotel in the summer of 2017 is still fresh in my memory. At that time, pastors and coworkers from five provinces attended a theological seminar. On the last day of the meeting, a pastor from Shenyang took me to the swimming pool to learn how to swim. I started at the edge of the one-meter-deep pool, and when I slowly left the edge of the pool and walked to the middle, I accidentally fell into the deep water. At that moment, terror struck me and I struggled in the water. I recalled the scene in the novel “The Thorn Birds” where a young priest named Dane drowned in the water. At the same time, I imagined that if I died at this time, my mother, my family, and my students would be extremely sad. Therefore, I struggled desperately in the water. Suddenly I felt as if a pair of hands pulled me back to the shore. Only then did the lifeguard extend a life-saving pole to me. Everyone on the shore was worried about me. The pastor and I returned to the hotel and we offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God together. Although I did not learn to swim, I learned a deeper lesson: “Death is so close to me; everyone should cherish life.”
In October 2013, I returned to China for the first time and passed by this city again. I was filled with emotion. Harbin, I owe you a lot. Although I lived at Wanbao Town there for three years, I never had the opportunity to see the Harbin Ice and Snow World. Harbin, I never stopped to appreciate your elegant and classical beauty, nor did I really open my arms to embrace you. Harbin, this city that haunts my soul, you are my friend in life, but I never belong to you, and you don’t belong to me either. However, in every bit of my life journey, I can find memories in you, and I can also chase the clues of God’s invisible hand through you.