诗篇31:15上 “我众生的事在你的手中……”（和合本）
诗篇31:15上 “我的一生都在你的手中……”（圣经新译本）

Harbin is known as the Oriental Pearl and the “Little Paris of the East.” The “Harbin Enveloped in Darkness” narrated by Wang Gang accompanied me during my childhood. Although I knew nothing about the content of this radio drama, its title left me with endless memories and imagination.
I left my home in Hegang for the first time in 1997 to take the entrance exam for Nanjing Union Theological Seminary (hereinafter referred to as NUTS ), which brought me to the Capital City Harbin of my province Heilongjiang. I took the train from Hegang to Harbin at around 9 pm and arrived at the station at around 5 am. When the train slowly pulled into the platform of Harbin Station, the announcer spoke in the purest Mandarin: “Dear passengers, Harbin Railway Station is coming soon. Please pack your luggage and prepare to get off. Harbin is a world-famous city. Every year, the Harbin Ice and Snow World, St. Sophia Cathedral… fried popsicles, Harbin red sausage, etc. are all fascinating… I wish you a pleasant journey! Welcome to take this train next time.”
The exam location that year was set up at the Nangang Christian Church. The result of the exam was that I received a “notification of non-admission” one month later. The most memorable thing about that time was that there were 7-8 candidates who took the exam together. At that time, there were three churches on Nangang Street. One was a Protestant church – the Christianity we believed in, where the largest number of people gathered. There were several worship services every Sunday, and everyone had to line up to find a seat. Next to it was an Orthodox church – there were very few people, and most of the believers were Chinese and Russian mixed race. We were very interested in learning about it at the time and wanted to go to that church to find someone to communicate with and learn related knowledge. At that time, I met a pastor’s wife. Her attitude was very unfriendly, and she said: “If you want to find a church, you can go to the Catholic Church across the street. There are priests and nuns there.” It seems that although they have luxurious buildings on the outside, they have no heart to spread the gospel. No wonder they ended up being reduced to tourist attractions. Then, that afternoon, several of us went to the Catholic Church across the street, met priests and nuns for the first time, and attended their mass. Everything was new and we were moved by the fact that priests never married and nuns devoted themselves to the Lord and served Him wholeheartedly. After the exam, several students went to the Harbin Night Market and talked about everyone’s expectations and hopes for the future under the streetlights.
In 1998, I came to Harbin again to take the entrance exam for NUTS. This time, we did not take the exam in the city center, but in Wanbao Town, which was far away from the city center, because at that time there was a provincial-level Bible school in Wanbao Town. It seemed that it took about 3 hours to get there after two reverses. During that exam, I was under great pressure and prayed to God, “Lord, if I fail to pass the exam in Nanjing this year, I will never take the exam for this Seminary again (it is regarded as the highest official Christian institution in China). I may just go to a local Bible school or Northeast Theological Seminary (located in Shenyang)…” The night before the exam, at the school’s evening prayer meeting, there was a female classmate who was also a candidate. She prayed, “It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” As a result, the exam went surprisingly smoothly. The content I reviewed before the exam appeared in the exam. It was amazing! After the exam, a sister who worked in the kitchen saw me and said to me, “Brother, you can pass the exam. I see that you have been praying all the time.” After the exam, I took the train back to Hegang at 10:00 pm. I could not hold my tears all the way and thanked God in my heart. I knew there was a very clear voice inside saying, “You are leaving Heilongjiang. This year I will take you to Nanjing.” At the end of August that year, I came to Harbin again and met up with another classmate. We took the train southward and headed to NUTS to study.
After that, during the 7 years I studied in Nanjing, I changed trains in Harbin at least 8-9 times. Every time, we passed by each other and left in a hurry. When I packed my bags and left my hometown in Hegang in 1998, there was a voice in my heart saying, “One day, I will take you to a very, very far away place that you have never been to and don’t know where it is.” Because of the call of that more distant voice, I never included Harbin in my life plan. However, things did not go as I wished. In 2005, the year I graduated from NUTS with a master’s degree, the place I least wanted to go was Harbin. However, we must be careful, perhaps the thing you least want to do is often the thing God wants you to do the most. Although I had many struggles in choosing the future field of service before graduation, I also tried to go to the south to see if I should serve there. However, when I was sitting in a church in the south of China to worship, I couldn’t stop my tears. The Holy Spirit rebuked me in my heart, saying, “Are you not going back to Harbin because of material supply? Go back, the students there are waiting for you.” With helplessness, reluctance, and a longing for the big city, I came to Harbin again in July 2005. After nearly 3 hours, I arrived at Heilongjiang Bible School to prepare to be a theology teacher. The three years at Wanbao Town were three years of learning humility, three years of traning character, and three years like Moses in the wilderness of Midian and David escaping from King Saul’s pursuit. The three years I disliked the most were the best three years of my life. The place I least wanted to go was a place full of spiritual gold. When I walked under the street lights at Wanbao Town, I thought: “Darkness gave me black eyes, but I use them to look for light.” When I left, I said: “I left quietly, just as I came quietly. I won’t take away a cloud…”
Are there anything in this city that I should miss? Of course there are. I have experienced countless graces from the Lord at Wanbao Town of this city. The care and love of many elders and brothers and sisters, the growth and development of students, and the encouragement and prayers of classmates are all treasures in my heart. In Harbin, I met a brother in the Lord and his mother who had welcomed me in his home for a semester without any compensation. However, because I was preparing for the TOEFL test, I was only thinking about memorizing English words and never paid attention to the charm of Harbin under the neon lights. There, I met a missionary couple who eventually became my recommenders for applying to American university. There, we participated in an English fellowship at a Nangang church. A scene that happened in Harbin Swan Hotel in the summer of 2017 is still fresh in my memory. At that time, pastors and coworkers from five provinces attended a theological seminar. On the last day of the meeting, a pastor from Shenyang took me to the swimming pool to learn how to swim. I started at the edge of the one-meter-deep pool, and when I slowly left the edge of the pool and walked to the middle, I accidentally fell into the deep water. At that moment, terror struck me and I struggled in the water. I recalled the scene in the novel “The Thorn Birds” where a young priest named Dane drowned in the water. At the same time, I imagined that if I died at this time, my mother, my family, and my students would be extremely sad. Therefore, I struggled desperately in the water. Suddenly I felt as if a pair of hands pulled me back to the shore. Only then did the lifeguard extend a life-saving pole to me. Everyone on the shore was worried about me. The pastor and I returned to the hotel and we offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God together. Although I did not learn to swim, I learned a deeper lesson: “Death is so close to me; everyone should cherish life.”
In October 2013, I returned to China for the first time and passed by this city again. I was filled with emotion. Harbin, I owe you a lot. Although I lived at Wanbao Town there for three years, I never had the opportunity to see the Harbin Ice and Snow World. Harbin, I never stopped to appreciate your elegant and classical beauty, nor did I really open my arms to embrace you. Harbin, this city that haunts my soul, you are my friend in life, but I never belong to you, and you don’t belong to me either. However, in every bit of my life journey, I can find memories in you, and I can also chase the clues of God’s invisible hand through you.

 魏师母
 

我最近听了一篇关于以上这些圣经经文的讲道。我想和大家分享一下那篇讲道的牧师的一些想法。牧师在讲道开始时说：“控制愤怒是一个问题。” 这似乎已成为当今世界的一个大问题。我们看到更多的暴力，更多的愤怒和更多的仇恨。当然，我们所有人有时都会生气。但作为基督徒，我们需要控制我们对愤怒的反应方式。今天，我想更多地谈谈如何回应那些向我们发泄愤怒的人，以及这种愤怒如何让我们震惊和受伤，尤其是当这种愤怒来自我们的弟兄姐妹时。我们需要节制和饶恕来处理针对我们的愤怒以及我们自己有时感受到的愤怒，我们需要圣灵的帮助来应对这些情况。
当我们看雅各的话时，我们看到他在强调一个观点，亲爱的兄弟们，“这是你们所知道的”（雅1: 19-20）：“注意这一点”，“永远不要忘记”，“理解这一点”……” 要快快的听”，多听是最好的。换句话说，如果我们能花点时间从仇恨的苛刻话语或伤害性行为中恢复过来，只是思考一下。然后雅各说，“慢慢的说”，“慢慢的动怒， ” “慢慢的动怒”。我们需要在听觉上有属灵的理解力（深入倾听）！这需要迅速服从上帝的圣灵。我们必须每天充满圣灵，为这些时刻做好准备。有时很难知道如何回应，因为我们被愤怒吓到了。大多数时候，它让我们措手不及。显然，在那一刻表现出愤怒的人正在对我们犯罪。让我们小心，不要得罪他们。认真、深入地倾听总会带来更好的结果。
现在我们来看看雅各在第 20 节中还想提醒我们什么，“因为人的怒气不能成就神所的义。”换句话说，愤怒并不能使我们变得善良，而神要求我们必须善良。听听我读到的关于雅各的这些指示，仅仅知道甚至选择正确的行动是不够的：我们必须采取行动。神不寻求正义的知识，他寻求正义的生活！我们知道没有行为的信心不能称为信心。信心不仅仅是言语；它不仅仅是知识；它通过顺服来体现。信心使我们脱离世界并顺服神。信心使我们有能力抵抗魔鬼并谦卑地接近神。雅各向我们展示了相信正确的事情却过着错误的生活是可能的。雅各在处理这个敏感话题上对弟兄们非常友善，但他给出了具体的实际指导来帮助我们过上真正的基督徒生活。雅各是耶稣同母的兄弟，但他却自称自己是 “神和主耶稣基督的仆人”。我们也是这样的人。我们面临的挑战是与人们协调恩典和真理，并表现出基督般的行为。因此，我们的目标是在展现恩典的同时展现真理。我们捍卫正义，同时也展现耶稣基督的爱。耶稣在世时面对过许多愤怒的人。他没有变得暴力或粗心大意。但他也不是一个软弱的人（。他不让人欺负他）他直面敌人。但耶稣不是用刀剑、匕首、威胁或侮辱来对抗，而是用恩典和真理的有力结合来对抗敌人。
我们仰望耶稣，因为他比任何人都更了解愤怒，也知道如何应对批评或虐待。耶稣处理难相处的人的一些方法如下：
1. 耶稣问问题。还记得路加福音第 12 章中的故事吗？当时耶稣被要求解决一个关于遗产的家庭纠纷，他回答说：“谁立我作你们断事的官？”“要谨慎！要防备一切贪心；人的生命不在乎家道丰富。”耶稣想让他们明白，把物质的东西置于个人关系之上会带来不好的后果。耶稣用问题来强调他对他人的开放态度。
2. 耶稣做的另一件事是，耶稣从未感到被逼入绝境。当法利赛人指责他做某些事情违反安息日时，耶稣并不担心他们会怎么看他。那不是他的重点。有时人们会用他们的判断逼迫我们，我们觉得他们误解了我们或不了解我们。但像耶稣一样，我们不必被别人的猜测所定义。我们的身份存在于上帝，而不是别人试图强加给我们的东西。
3. 耶稣知道何时该忽视。记得在《路加福音》第 4 章中，当耶稣回到家乡拿撒勒时，他在会堂里读经文时说：“没有先知在自己的家乡被人悦纳的。”他讲了以利亚和寡妇的故事。会堂里的所有人都对耶稣感到愤怒。他们把他赶出城外，想把他扔下悬崖。耶稣知道没有办法和这些人讲理，所以他直接穿过人群，“继续上路”。有些人会发脾气，辱骂和粗鲁……在当今现代的网络上或短信中，这种情况屡见不鲜。这是离开的时候了。有时人们是不讲道理的，所以你别无选择。当面质问时，你也许可以选择另一种方式。
4. 耶稣没有采取防御措施。在马可福音第 10 章中，我们看到雅各和约翰的请求。“夫子，我们无论求什么，愿你给我们成就。”耶稣说，你们要我做什么？他们要求在荣耀中坐在耶稣的左右手边。他们越界了。耶稣知道什么时候说不，什么时候说是，并且不担心让人们不高兴。有时人们对我们的要求超出了我们所能给予的。他们可能会试图让我们感到内疚。耶稣爱所有的人，但他的目标不是取悦所有人。耶稣的目标是遵行天父的旨意。上帝对耶稣的旨意给了他安全感。他不必竭尽全力去满足有需要或咄咄逼人的人。这是耶稣与他人打交道的另一种方式。
5. 耶稣很灵活。马太福音第 15 章讲述了一个迦南妇人的信心故事。这个妇人恳求耶稣医治她的女儿。耶稣说： “不。”但后来他被她的信心感动，治愈了她的女儿。耶稣以开放的心态对待人们。当一个难相处的人来找我们时，我们可能会想，哦，不，不会再来了。但也许我们最好保持开放的心态。这次情况可能会有所不同。我们不想拒绝圣灵在我们自己或他人生活中的工作。
朋友们，我们将耶稣视为我们完美的榜样，像他那样处理生活中的棘手问题和所有其他问题。像他一样，我们也会生气，也会对罪恶、虚伪和不公感到憎恨。这被称为正义的愤怒，这是可以接受的。耶稣没有表现出人的愤怒，而是表现出上帝的义愤。我们视耶稣为榜样，但我们很软弱，有时会失败。我们必须祈祷、宽恕，并继续努力在控制愤怒方面做得更好。

（魏师母于2024年9月19日早上5点晨祷分享）

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