2/9/25 牧者之言

1990 年，我们刚搬到台湾台中一个新地方，准备建立教会。我们谁也不认识，我们知道必须从家里的圣经学习开始。一天早上，我一边读歌罗西书 4:2-6，一边祷告。那天我祈求上帝“给我们开传道的门，能以讲基督的奥秘” 。 我特别注意道要“用智慧与外人结交，并充分利用每个机会。” 然后我出去，走到市场买水果。当我走进市场时，一位女士在马路对面朝我走来，开始微笑着挥手，然后穿过马路，挽着我的胳膊，好像她认识我一样。在台湾，中国人通常不会对一个陌生人如此大胆——虽然总是微笑友好，但不会如此主动！我想，哇，上帝已经在回应我的祷告了！她和我聊天，并坚持要我去她家见她的女儿！虽然有些奇怪，但我不正是刚刚祷告求上帝开门并要抓住每个机会吗？于是我跟着她去了！一路上我都在祷告！我们悄悄地上楼，因为她说不能吵醒她的丈夫，否则他会非常生气！她突然打开了一个年轻女孩的卧室门……我微笑着为闯入她的私人空间道歉，并告诉她我的名字，邀请她来我们家参加英语圣经学习。她非常害羞，但还是笑了。我很快感谢了她的母亲并离开了。我想，我可能再也不会见到那个可怜的女孩了！
这是从我的角度看到的故事开头。现在，我将分享张惠玲对这次初次见面的回忆。这是她在十年后（2001年）为一次课堂作业写下的故事，我将按照她的原文分享。

“一个充满愛心的人”（这是她为故事起的标题）

当我告诉别人我曾经是一个害羞、安静、严肃且缺乏自信的女孩时，他们总是露出难以置信的表情。“你现在看起来非常独立和自信，我无法想象你以前的样子。”是的，我确实和以前不一样了。作为家中的长女，我从小就必须学会照顾自己。由于父亲的严格管教和母亲的精神病，我学会了压抑自己的自然情感。在我的脑海里，从来没有“我想做什么？”的问题，只有“我应该做什么？”。在遇到我的干妈Elinda之前，人们可能认为我是一个冷漠的人。

         我不知道被愛是什么感觉，因为我的父亲除了责骂之外从未向任何人表达过愛。我部分理解父亲的沮丧——他娶了一位患有精神病的妻子，被迫离开自己的祖国（中国大陆），并承担起家庭的所有责任。为了帮助父亲，我从5岁起就开始分担家务。我从小就非常成熟，但却失去了孩子般的天真。我不喜欢与人交谈，因为我觉得没有人能理解我的感受。我的态度非常消极和愤世嫉俗，因为我从未对生活的任何部分感到满意。

        大学二年级的一个夏日，我的母亲把一个陌生人带到了我的房间。“哦，不！我母亲又开始发作 。”我低声自语。每当母亲行为异常时，我都非常讨厌这种情况。突然，一位金发、面容姣好的中年妇女 Elinda当时42岁）出现在我面前。“你好，我叫Elinda。我在街上遇到你的母亲，她想告诉我哪里可以买到苹果。她坚持要我来见你，因为她说你喜欢学英语。”她用带有美国口音的中文向我介绍自己。我忍住没有对母亲发火，保持冷静。她注意到我的恐惧和戒备心。意识到自己可能打扰了我，她在友好介绍后没有再多说什么，只是留下一张纸条，告诉我如果想学英语可以打电话给她。几天过去了，那张纸条一直在我脑海中盘旋。一种奇怪的好奇心最终给了我勇气打电话给她。

        “嗨，我是惠玲。你还记得吗？你说如果我想学英语可以给你打电话。”“当然，我记得你。”我们约定了第一次见面的时间。我很少给陌生人打电话，但不知为何，一种未知的感觉促使我尝试了解更多关于这个女人的事情。到了她家后，我发现自己并不是唯一的客人，我立刻意识到这是一次团契活动。我的直觉告诉我要有礼貌。我保持安静，直到活动结束。那天晚上，我认识了七八个年轻学生。我们一起唱歌、吃点心、读圣经故事。结束时，Elinda问我下周一晚上是否有空，我点了点头。“你不如来我家，我们可以做你想做的事？”我答应了。我有些责怪自己相信她会教我英语，但我也感受到了一种从未有过的情感。这种新的感觉让我在团契中感到更加平静、快乐和美好，这是我以前从未有过的。

        那个周一晚上，我带着我希望Elinda帮我学习的英语书去了她家。我问她我应该付多少钱。她的回答让我震惊：“我不收你任何费用。如果你需要帮助，尽管问我。”与以往缺乏动力的我不同，我每周一晚上都会去Elinda家参加我们的私人聚会，每周二晚上参加团契。我注意到Elinda总是问我感觉如何，我的家人怎么样，我的母亲怎么样。我感到很感动，因为她真的关心我和我的家人，而不仅仅是出于礼貌。我很少向任何人透露我的家庭或我自己，因为我害怕别人会嘲笑我、甚至鄙视我。在与Elinda交谈时，我能从她的眼神中看到理解和关愛，我意识到她真的关心我。有时，她会给我看一些她家人的照片，或者分享一些有趣的故事。起初，我并没有完全准备好接受她的友谊，因为我很难轻易相信别人。我一直在等待，想看看她到底想从我这里得到什么，否则她怎么可能有如此耐心和愛心去给予别人？

        有一天，她邀请我参加一个派对。“你参加过派对吗？”“没有。”“你愿意今晚和我一起去参加一个派对吗？”“愿意。”她让我在派对前一小时到她家，如果我没有合适的裙子，可以从她的衣柜里选一件。我坐在椅子上时，她帮我梳头。这是第一次，我的第一次，有人帮我梳头。她的手指触碰我的头发时，仿佛有电流流过我的全身。我感动得几乎要哭出来。我问她为什么对我这么好，我应该如何回报她。她回答说，她不求任何回报，只希望看到我在幸福和盼望中成长。她告诉我，她的愛来自上帝。如果不是上帝的愛，她会感到软弱和疲惫。上帝的奇妙恩典给了她生活的热情和奉献，无论生活多么艰难。

       以前有很多人试图向我传福音，但他们都失败了，因为我拒绝相信上帝的存在。由于Elinda的愛心和耐心，我终于在大学四年级时接受了耶稣基督。有一天，我的一个同学告诉我，我看起来不一样了。当我问他有什么不同时，他说我看起来光彩照人，充满信心，我的微笑让我看起来比以前更友好。我始终感谢上帝让Elinda进入我的生活，改变了我的生命。如果没有她持续的愛心和友谊，我永远不会知道什么是愛，如何信任别人，如何向这个世界敞开心扉，以及如何接受耶稣进入我的生命。以前我不知道世界上有这么多美好的品质，但她让我体验到了生活的美好一面。Elinda提醒我，我可以把我的愛给予那些渴望愛的人。我仍然与她保持联系，因为每当我感到沮丧或烦恼时，她总是鼓励我。虽然我不像以前那样经常见到她，但她的言语和形象已经深深印在我的脑海中。（她的故事到此为止）

我和惠玲在她得救之前度过了很多时光。我们在1990年相识。她在2001年在美国学习时为一次课堂作业写下了这篇关于我的文章。她回到台湾后给了我一份副本。这篇文章深深触动了我，让我意识到我们的言语、行为、肢体语言，甚至是我们对他人所做的最微小的事，都可能产生积极或消极的影响。我非常感谢上帝在这位年轻女性的生命中引导我每一步。我深感谦卑和感激，因为祂允许我在带领她归向耶稣的过程中扮演了一个角色。她是魏牧师在我们新教会中施洗的第二个人。第一个是我们的幼子！已经过去了35年，她仍然称呼我们为“妈妈”和“爸爸”。

In 1990 we had just moved to a new area in Taichung, Taiwan to start a church. We knew no one and we knew we had to start with a Bible Study in our home.  One morning I was reading Colossians 4: 2-6 and praying. I was asking God that day to “open a door for our gospel message, so that we might proclaim the mystery of Christ.” I particularly paid attention to “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” I then went out and made my way to the fresh market to buy some fruit. I was near the market when a lady was walking toward me on the other side of the road and started smiling and waving and came across the road and took my arm as if she knew me.  It was so unlike Chinese people in Taiwan to be THAT bold to a perfect stranger…. ALWAYS smiling and friendly yes, but not like that! I thought WOW! God is already answering my prayer.  She chatted with me and insisted we go to her house immediately to meet her daughter!  It was strange, but hadn’t I just prayed for an open door and to make the most of every opportunity! I went with her!  I was praying all the way there! We went up the stairs quietly because the lady said we couldn’t wake up her husband who would be very angry!  She opened the door suddenly to this young girl’s bedroom……I smiled and apologized for invading her privacy. I told her my name and invited her to our home for English Bible Study.  She was so very shy, but she smiled.  I quickly thanked her mother for the introduction and left.  I thought…. I will never see that poor girl again!!
This is how this story started from MY perspective.  Now I will share this story and that first meeting with Chang Hui Ling from HER perspective. I will share exactly as she wrote it down for an assignment for a class 10 years after it all happened!
“A Loving Person” (This is the title she gave her story)
People always look at me with incredulous expressions when I tell them I used to be a shy, quiet, serious girl who lacked self-confidence. “You look very independent and self-confident now.  I can’t imagine what you were like before.” Yes, it’s true that I am not the same person I used to be.  Being the eldest child in my family, I had to learn how to take care of myself when I was a small girl. I had learned to inhibit my natural emotions as a result of my father’s strict discipline and my mother’s mental illness. In my mind, there was no asking, “What would I like to do?” but only, “What should I do?” People probably regarded me as a callous person until I met my Godmother, Elinda.
         I didn’t know what it was like to be loved by someone because my father never showed his love to people except by scolding. I could partly understand my father’s frustration caused from his marrying someone with a mental illness, being forced leave his own country (mainland China) and trying to take care of all the responsibilities of my family. Trying to assist my father, I shared some housekeeping with my father since I was 5 years old. I was quite mature when I was young, but I lost the innocent nature of a child. I didn’t like to talk with people because I thought nobody could understand my feelings.  My attitude was very negative and cynical as I never felt satisfied with any part of my life.
          One summer day when I was a sophomore in college my mother brought an unexpected stranger to my room.  “Oh! No! My mother was acting up again.” I murmured to myself.  I hated the situation whenever my mother didn’t behave like a normal person. Suddenly, a middle-aged woman (Elinda was 42) with blond hair, good-looking features appeared in front of my sight. “How do you do? My name is Elinda. I met your mother on the street because she wanted to show me where to buy apples. She insisted I come to meet you because she said that you like to study English.” She introduced herself to me in Chinese with a soft American accent. I held myself back by not shouting at my mother and stayed calm. She noticed my fright and protectiveness.  Having realized that she might intrude into my space, she didn’t speak more after her friendly introduction.  She just left a note and told me that I could call her if I wanted to learn English. Several days passed by, the note kept whirling in my head. A strange curiosity finally gave me the courage to call her.
        “Hi, this is Hui-Ling. Do you remember? You said I could call if I wanted to learn English.”  “YES, sure I remember you.”
         We scheduled the time for our first meeting. I seldom called a stranger, but somehow an unknown feeling grabbed me and encouraged me to try to discover more about this woman. After I arrived at her house, I noticed that I wasn’t the only guest, and I immediately figured out that the meeting was a fellowship. My instinct told me to act politely. I stayed quiet until the meeting finished. During the night, I was introduced to 7 or 8 young students. We sang songs, ate refreshments, and read a Bible story.  At the end when people were dismissed, Elinda asked me if I was free the next Monday night, I nodded yes! “Why don’t you just come to my house, and we can do something you want??”  OKAY, I answered. I was kind of blaming myself for believing that she would teach me English. However, I also felt a different emotion which I never experienced before. This new feeling made me feel more peaceful, joyful, and wonderful during the fellowship than I had ever had.  I brought my English book that I wished Elinda to help me with on that Monday night. I asked how much I should pay her. Her reply made me stunned. “I don’t charge anything from you. Just feel free to ask me if you need help.” Instead of being unmotivated like I used to be, I kept going to Elinda’s house every Monday night for our private meeting and every Tuesday night for the fellowship. I noticed that Elinda always asked how I felt, how my family was doing and how my mother was.  I felt touched because she really cared about me and my family rather than just being socially polite. I seldom disclose my family or myself to anyone because I was afraid people would laugh at me or even despise me. While talking with Elinda, I could see understanding and affection in her eyes and I learned that she really cared about me.  Sometimes, she would show me some pictures of her family or share some interesting stories with me.  I was not quite ready to accept her friendship at the beginning because I couldn’t easily trust people. I waited and waited to see what she really wanted from me, otherwise, how could she have such patience and love to give to people? One day, she invited me to attend a party.  “Have you ever attended any party?”  “No!” “Would you like to go with me tonight to a party? “Yes.”  She asked me to come to her house one hour earlier than the party if I didn’t have a dress for the party. She let me choose any dress from her closet. While sitting on the chair, she helped me comb my hair. It was the first, MY first, that I had somebody comb my hair. It seemed electricity flowing all over my body from her touching my hair. I was so moved that I almost burst into tears. I asked why she treated me so well and what I should do to return to her. She answered that she didn’t ask for any return but to see me grow up in happiness and with hope. She told me the well of her love came from God. She would feel weak and exhausted if it were not for God’s love. God’s amazing grace had given her enthusiasm and devotion in her life no matter how difficult the life would be.  There were many times that people tried to evangelize Christianity to me, but they always failed by my rejecting God’s existence. Because of Elinda’s love and patience, I finally accepted Jesus Christ in my heart when I was a senior in college. One day, one of my classmates told me that I looked different. When I asked him what the difference was, he said that I looked glamorous with faith and my smile made me look friendlier than before, I’ve always thanked God that He had brought Elinda into my life and changed my life. Without her consistently give of her love and friendship to me, I would never have known what love is, how to trust people, how to open my mind to this world, and how to accept Jesus into my life.  Before I didn’t know there were so many good qualities in this world, but she made me experience the wonderful side of life. Elinda reminded me that I could give my love to people who are eager to love. I still keep in touch with her because she always encourages me whenever I feel down or frustrated. Though I don’t see her as often as before, her words and image have become embedded in my mind.    (End of her story)
Hui-Ling and I spent a lot of time together before she was saved. We met in 1990. She wrote this paper about me 10 years later in 2001 as an assignment for a class while studying in the U.S. She gave me a copy when she returned to Taiwan after her studies.  It has touched me so deeply and makes me aware of how our words, our actions, our body language, the smallest things we do around other people can have a positive or negative impact. I’m so thankful God was leading me every step of the way in this young woman’s life. I am so humbled and grateful that He allowed me to play a part in bringing her to JESUS.  She was the second person Wei Mushr baptized in our new church start.  The first person was our youngest son! It’s been 35 years, and she still calls us “mom” and “dad.”